Scare Kingdom Scream Park has returned to terrorise guests for it’s ninth year in a row. We decided 2017 would be the year we brave it as a group, convincing ourselves it would be “good fun”.
Scare Kingdom has won countless awards and is critically acclaimed as one of the scariest Halloween Attractions in the UK. We attended the special preview night, before the park opened to the general public on Friday the 6th of October.
In anticipation for the event, we got willing participants to list their fears:
Chris - stepping on plug or a lego (ever the comedian, is Chris)
Sam - the dark (“I think it's just going to bring back all of the childhood memories where my sister turned the light off when I was halfway up the stairs…”)
Dave - “Not scared of much tbh....” (ever the liar, is Dave)
Elly - spiders, due to the fact they have “lots of legs that aren't needed”
Luckie - being touched, spiders and chainsaws (“the Texas Chainsaw Massacre films were good but they stuck with me in a way they had no right to”)
The 2017 attractions include sLAUGHTER, The Sickness 2: High Hopes Hospital, Manormortis Ghostkeeper, Prey, Body Snatchers, Black Widow, and Dougie’s Den & Bertha’s Bar. There was also the option of seeing additional attractions, such as Psychomanteum Resurrection, but we didn’t have the heart to put Social Sam through any additional fear for fear he’d never recover.
In preparation for the night ahead, the team went to the #BrilliantBurnley restaurant, The Palazzo, for food and drinks. The hope was that the latter would help in numbing the sense of throbbing fear we were all experiencing.
For the first two attractions, our group got split in half (because of course we are that unlucky). The first attraction, sLAUGHTER, introduced us to a “killer clown hunter” and was followed by The Sickness 2: High Hopes Hospital. Somehow the Scare Kingdom team managed to make the High Hopes Hospital scarier than a visit to a crowded NHS A&E, which is an incredible feat in itself. All there is to say about The Sickness 2, is that it’ll leave you wanting to ring 111 and avoid hospitals at all costs.
Manormortis Ghostkeeper is an attraction that will see you thinking The Woman In Black films are nothing but PG-rated fluffy kids films. Elly became the unfortunate favourite of a lot of the Phantasms haunting the attraction, and has reaffirmed that it really is “terrifying”.
We were reunited as a full group at the next attraction, a chapel/vampire themed horror show. Prey most definitely had many of us pleading with the divine for some extra courage and repaired any damage to the reputation of vampires that the Twilight franchise might have done.
The Body Snatchers attraction snatched wigs too, leaving Social Sam and Asthmatic Elly a collective puddle of terror. This attraction in particular is also the one where we accidentally did laps of a room, not realising that the way out was straight ahead and not around a square pen housing some kind of terrifying creature.
The last of the main attractions was Black Widow, a sensory deprivation ordeal including bags over the heads and a spider theme. As far as crafting the ideal nightmare to petrify arachnophobes goes, we can confirm they unfortunately succeeded in this area.
At the end of the tour there was thankfully a bar, with more characters trying to convince us to enter an additional attraction, Psychomanteum Resurrection, dubbed the world’s sicket “psycho-sexual scare” that’s said to be “world renowned”. Dave, Chris and Charlotte braved this attraction while the rest of us hid in Dougie’s Den and Bertha’s Bar, telling ourselves we were safe now and using the excuse for our absence from the additional attraction as “Well, somebody needs to take care of the cameras and phones out here”. The brave souls who took on Psychomanteum Resurrection returned slightly damp and sworn to secrecy about what happens in the “treatment”.
The team at Scare Kingdom have masterfully created a living, breathing nightmare and if you’re looking for a night you won’t forget anytime soon (mainly because you won’t be able to sleep at night afterwards) then look no further than this award winning Scream Park. We’d like to say we’d love to go again, but, truthfully, our nerves probably couldn’t take it.
Image source: Scare Kingdom